Dear Isabelle Kerr,
This is a letter in response to the article “Bare Vexed”. In my opinion, I agree with this article because slang is brainwashing children`s minds. They automatically think that words like “innit” “Bruv” or “Selfie” are the correct words to say. In fact children find it difficult to get through a sentence without mentioning slang words in their English exams, and every day lives. This is because children grow up learning inappropriate uses of language that has ruined their ability to speak and write thus degrading their ranks in society. This can diminish their chances on being successful in this tough and competitive world. Therefore, it is really important children grow up into the world equipped with the appropriate use of language. Otherwise the English language will be lost in this generation. If they keep using slang words in their everyday life then the chances of them becoming employed are significantly hindered. One online user stated “No wonder there is so much youth unemployment”. I agree with you. Most managers would not allow slang to be spoken on their premises, for example if a teenager goes for a job interview and speaks slang, he/she would certainly not get the job. As these people would struggle to communicate in the right manner that is needed to be employed.
You explores the idea of slang words being put in the Oxford dictionary. This would justify slang words and encourage the younger generation, which may have serious consequences. For instance, you states that these words unfairly represent what can only be described as this generations “feeble etymological contribution”. This shows us that this generation are continuously adopting slang words in their writing and speaking. When skimming through the words. Children will automatically think that slang words inserted in the dictionary are correct word or phrase to use. When as a matter of fact, it is absolutely not the right word to use.
In addition the dictionary is basically encouraging these slang words to be spoken all around the UK and around the world. If this continues for years to come, then the dictionary needs a reality check. It has crushed ridiculous amounts of people’s speaking ability and must undoubtedly withdraw the slang words before it takes its toll on many other citizens. I think it is degrading the beautiful English language that has stood tall for many years.
I think that this generation of teenagers have been forced to learn or to speak these slang words in order to fit in with other people in society, especially in schools. If you don’t use slang words regularly the other students would not recognise you as their friend . As a matter of fact the well behaved, mature and well mannered pupil are using slang to fit in with this new society. For example, I tend to use slang words but I despise using it. I only use it to fit in with the students, which I think is unacceptable. People should speak appropriate English language and act like themselves to be accepted in society.
As another online user stated “What has the world come to”. I agree with this point as many people around the world are copying famous people for e.g Miley Cyrus was caught “Twerking” which means dancing to music in a sexually provocative manner, involving thrusting hip movements and a low squatting stance. Seeing a famous person in Miley Cyrus performing this intrigues many young children all over the world to also perform this act its the same with slang. Surely people would recognize these acts are the wrong thing to do.
you also explore the fact that some slang words are no longer being adopted by the younger generation. Words like “groovy” “wicked” and “peak” are no longer slang words being spoken by children. They are like fashion trends that come and go.Therefore the use of slang words coming and going from time to time is nonsense there should be well spoken words that will stick in the English language. Instead of no longer speaking slang words why don’t we adopt some of the well spoken words that have been used for centuries, if Shakespeare was still alive he would be utterly disgusted by the words being spoken today. All in all this generation is certainly not a good one to live in terms of speaking the language.
Overall, the present article has a compelling evidence that slang words are being used in the Oxford dictionary. Will hinder children`s education, and has a big impact on the young generation communicating effectively in the wider world. I strongly agree with this article. You strongly believe that slang words are not the correct way to communicate efficiently. This article stands for what I believe in regarding slang being used to brainwashing children`s minds and their future. If they carry on using slang.
Yours Sincerely,
Brooke Ferede.
January 11, 2015 at 7:30 pm
Brooke, this response engages with some of the key debates surrounding this issue. It develops some of the arguments that are presented in the original piece. However, the accuracy of this piece hinders its overall appropriateness.
Targets:
1) You need to ensure that you use capital letters and full stops accurately.
2) Some of your sentences are very long. It has a real impact on the clarity of your argument. Please shorten your sentences and use a maximum of two commas per sentence.
3) Draw out 3-5 arguments Kerr makes in the original article and elaborate on them. This will dramatically improve your reading mark.
Overall, this piece would currently achieve:
Writing: 25/40 (D)
Reading: 4/10 (E)
January 15, 2015 at 9:28 pm
I have corrected this
January 25, 2015 at 5:31 pm
Brooke, this is a far stronger draft. Well done. There is still some work to do on it, though.
Targets:
1) Some of your sentences are still too long and/or they do not make grammatical sense. Rephrase sentences to ensure they make sense.
2) Be clear on your position. At times it becomes a little unclear.
3) You need to develop the points drawn from the article in greater detail without repeating material.
4) Draw one more point from the original article and develop a response to it in greater detail.
5) You could include a few more discourse markers to ensure your argument shows development.
Current grade:
Writing: 27/40
Reading: 6/10
February 4, 2015 at 9:50 pm
I have acted on this feeback
March 23, 2015 at 5:04 pm
Brooke, this is slowly improving but there is still plenty to fix.
Targets:
1) The logic of your argument is poorly formed in places. For example, what is the link between Miley Cyrus twerking and young people’s spoken language? This is not the only example. You will need to work to locate the others.
2) You still have sentences that are too long. You need to work on correcting you punctuation. You often use commas where you should use a full stop.
3) You need to address the author of the original article more directly.
4) You need to draw out and respond to a couple more points from the original article.
5) You need to respond to feedback given!
Current grade:
Reading: 6/10 (D)
Writing: 27/40 (D)
March 30, 2015 at 4:42 pm
Brooke, this is a stronger draft.
Targets:
1) You need to sign your letter off with ‘Yours sincerely’.
2) You need to check your punctuation. You occasionally use commas when you should have a full stop.
3) Do not refer to ‘the author’, but to ‘Isabelle’, ‘Ms Kerr’ or ‘You’.
4) You need to use paragraphs more effectively.
Current grade:
Reading: (7/10) (C2)
Writing: 31/40 (B3)
April 14, 2015 at 9:32 am
Targets:
You suddenly start referring to the person you are writing to in the third person. You need to use ‘you’ instead.
You need to consider the tone of your piece. At the moment this is not a piece of text that would be read in a response column – it should be enjoyable to read.\
Your paragraphing is still a little shaky.
Reading: 8/10 (B2)
Writing: 32/40 (B2)