English Coursework Torture
“Power without morality is a prescription for disaster”-Karen Greenberg.
Torture is an act of inflicting pain on someone to try to get useful information. The brutality of torture has inspired me to document my own thoughts and feelings about its use. As a western citizen myself, I feel that my own people are damaging our image in the world. America is a superpower, and should be setting a good moral example. Whilst I understand that torture is used to get information out of terrorists, in my opinion its use is morally and ethically wrong and even more importantly it is ineffective. Also torture is a humiliating way to respond to a situation that needs dealing with. In this essay I will be discussing how torture is used in the wrong way. The use of torture should be abolished. It has killed too many people and needs to be stopped before its gets out of hand. The victims of torture will want to gain revenge as a consequence of being treated as the enemy. This will escalate on and on until another war. Would we risk another world war for something as horrific as torture?
The lasting legacy of Abu Ghraib is a scar that can never be erased in terms of our relation with the Muslim world. The information obtained through horrible torturing and continuous inhuman interrogation has not been valuable to get reliable information. Instead it has worsened our situation, and has increased more terrorism in all corners of the world. In fact, torture takes place in the majority of countries in the world – as many as 90% of countries. I think this fact is truly shocking and unacceptable.The fact that torture takes place in 90% of the world is a very alarming and must be lowered immediately or there will be serious consequences. If the world is bad enough already, why should there be torturing of innocent people across the world.
Today, more than ever, terrorists are inflicting acts of terrorism, particularly in the western world. For example, they are putting massive pressure on the western governments to pump in huge amounts of money for police to patrol the streets. For instance, in the streets of London and Paris, more and more police are having to be placed. The people in these cities are more vigilant in their everyday life, be it work or leisure. Some believe a terrorist attack is imminent and people are becoming increasingly anxious. So, how has humiliating Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay torturing improved the way we live and our peace? Is it not time that we thought twice about putting in place much more effective solutions to the existing problem? The truth is, that torture is not effective and that it’s use kills many humans.
Why do the superpower countries feel the need to torture? More recently the use of torture has been used especially in America. The CIA released information about their use of “enhanced interrogation” techniques. These acts were being used on Al-Qaeda terrorists following the 9/11 attacks on the US. I, for one think that this is absolutely terrible and shocking behaviour by the American government. Some of the interrogation techniques used were sleep deprivation, confinement in small spaces, slapping and water boarding – (simulated drowning). How disgraceful! Even though the 9/11 attacks were unacceptable, America should not resort to torture. I think this is the most humiliating way to respond. America should have called for peace but certainly torture is not the way forward. For a country as powerful as America this is disgraceful and should be ought to be ashamed of themselves as a country.How can you torture any citizen in this world? If these outrageous act happened to the American people they would not like it. Hence, why does America feel the need to torture other human beings?
Overall, I believe that torture should never be used, it is breaking the human rights of the people being brutally hurt. Furthermore, it is not morally the right thing to do. The use of torture should be abolished from any civilized society. It is unacceptable and no human deserves to be treated this way. So once and for all torture should be abolished from all parts of the world, then this world would be full peace and civilized people, wouldn’t any human want a world like this?
January 25, 2015 at 5:25 pm
Brooke, you need to ensure you listen and read the instructions carefully in class to ensure that your work fits the needs of the assessment.
In this piece of writing, you should not be responding to the article. That was given as a model for you to work from. Instead, you should be writing a persuasive speech/article that communicates your thoughts on the topic of torture.
Targets:
1) Remove all references to the other article
2) Use a greater number of emotive language devices to ensure that the reader/listener is convinced by your point of view.
3) Include an anecdote that will provide an example for your point.
Current grade: 20/40 (E1)
February 2, 2015 at 6:03 pm
Brooke, while your writing is improving, you must ensure that you act on all feedback given.
Targets:
1) Do not give your opinion on te Sam Harris article. We are here to hear your point of view, not someone else’s within this piece of writing.
2) Open your writing with a startling statistic, rhetorical question or emotive anecdote.
3) Use a greater range of persuasive techniques throughout the piece. You should be fighting to have people hear your point of view. Convince them of your argument.
4) Use a greater range of facts to support your arguments.
Current Grade: 30/40.
February 3, 2015 at 8:12 pm
I have corrected the feedback you have given me
February 3, 2015 at 11:59 pm
Brooke, really good stuff. This is shaping up nicely.
Targets :
1) Your opening is your least convincing section. I still think you need a more gripping opening that moves beyond defining torture.
2) You need to delete the full stops after your question marks.
3) You could use some more ambitious vocabulary.
4) Your paragraphs should be structured in a way that allows your argument to develop into a crescendo.
5) Your final paragraph is emotional, but the phrasing isn’t particularly sophisticated. Have abother go at it.
Current grade: 33/40
February 7, 2015 at 12:43 am
I have updated this please mark before deadline
March 24, 2015 at 4:24 pm
Brooke, this is improved but you can do better.
1) You provide too much information and too little argument. You need to write in a more persuasive style by using more rhetorical devices (emotive language, rhetorical questions, direct address). There are moments where this language appears, but it does not appear throughout.
2) You need a greater logic to your answer. The sequencing of your ideas isn’t coherent.
3) You need to ensure that all of your sentences make sense. The are a few grammatical errors.
4) It is not an essay. Don’t refer to it as one.
Grade: 32/40 (B2)
April 14, 2015 at 9:30 am
Targets:
You need to use paragraphs more effectively.
You need to make sure that your argument develops.
Grade: 32/40 (B2)